The horrible reality of ASD and extended family

I remember when the first feelings came that something was wrong. I felt alarmed and my instinct was to call my mom. She is a great listener and I knew I could vent about all I had been noticing. She did just that, listened and then kinda shuffled me to a new subject. I hung up and felt like, hmm that was weird.

A few weeks later came the comments from a few close family members and friends/acquaintances:

"He is fine"
"There is nothing wrong with him"
"All your kids have allergies"
"He will grow out of it"
"You bought him too many toys too soon he is overwhelmed"
"You keep your home too damn clean"
"Stop worrying about it and bake a cake"
"He just needs to eat more"
"You read to much and I think you make him do that weird stuff"
"don't label him autistic it could ruin his future"
"He needs to go to church"
"He is just lazy"
"he is spoiled"

I could seriously go on and on. These were all said to me at one point or another and by people who are close to me. Some are probably going to read this. I think it's just a way for people to try and make you feel better. You know trying to sympathize when in reality they have absolutely no idea what life is like with an autistic toddler. I sometimes wish they could spend a day just shadowing what goes on. Just see what it's really like.

For me personally, the hardest part was feeling like loved ones did not believe me. I felt like I had to scream to the world, "hey listen here:  my kid is autistic and I'm not making this shit up!" I did eventually do this with my immediate family but some of my extended family has chosen to just stay away. That's fine and trust me my mama bear instincts prefer it nowadays. I'm not gonna lie and say it doesn't bother me because how could it not?

The way I see it is this, with autism and its broad spectrum you have two choices:
A. Do nothing and pretend it will get better.
B. Do everything you can, use all local resources and get the best therapy you can, no matter what anyone thinks or says. And it can't hurt right?

I chose B, I'd rather do "A" but I figured that I could do a two year plan for my family. We give it our all for two years of ABA intensive behavior therapy to in turn, give our son the best possible future. And in the meantime not worry about the naysayers! Yup, I am very offended by all of the above mentioned comments and frankly, I'm sick of the "try this and that" if there was one simple fix I wouldn't be up at midnight writing this!

To the other moms going through this, follow those mommy instincts and do what's best for your family. Research what's available. Discuss it with your whole family(we talked with all the kids when we decided) then hold your head high about YOUR decision. You are amazing and that's why you were chosen to be the mother of such an amazing and unique child!

If you are a friend or family member watching from afar. Educate yourself and watch your words. A mothers heart is fragile during times of diagnosing a child with a disability.

I found some great resources on the autism speaks site. It's my favorite go to for info on all things autism!!
www.autismspeaks.org