This island is spinning

  Its been quite a week.  Sleep has been reduced to about three hours a night, if I'm lucky and its not consecutive.  I have been brought back into my dark place.  I hate this place, I feel overwhelmed, unhappy, like I failed, and guilty.  All pretty ugly descriptive words!  I just can not properly function physically or mentally without sleep.  My sweet lil wonder just cant wind down enough to stay asleep.  He goes down great at about 830 but then the craziness starts.  He awakes about every hour and a half through out the night and by 2-3am he likes to just stay up.  Because he is a toddler this poses risk.  He has to be watched, we have baby proofed but I don't think it is possible to "JoJo" proof.  He likes to do random (make my mom freak out) things, you know stand up on the computer desk, walk on the counter, climb the window sill or EAT the sill.  So he is in our room where we can watch him. 

  I tend to stay up anticipating his waking up, this is where I go wrong.  Because before I know it its already 2am and I'm deliriously looking at amazon and ordering everything "autism" related that I can find. So my newest plan is melatonin.  I shall start it with Jojo tomorrow while we have the weekend for any stimming or reaction it may cause.  The stuff is just a natural substance that our bodies produce but with Jojo I never know!!

  I also received one of my latest Amazon buys:  A book titled, "Eat it and Beat it, getting over autism"  The Author Jane Casey has two boys that were ASD diagnosed and are now doing great.  I emailed her in desperation the other night and to my great surprise she emailed me back, even gave me a quick start up action plan and ideas to get things going in the right direction.  I have just read the first few chapters and Omgeez I am excited!!  I love her emotion and dedication to really helping families in need.  I  plan to read, discuss, and then implement the ideas that I think will work for our family. I will post more as I finish the book.

Here's to a wonderful weekend, My lil Diva is celebrating her 9th birthday!! I cant wait to go on a mommy and daughter day out with her on Saturday!  Happy Birthday Macy, you are a beautiful girl with a personality that can light up any room or depressed mommy!!  I love you tremendously, mama!

Ok just a quick, I LOVE my kiddos moment!