Why do I have to "fix" him?

So today has been such a crazy day. One of my "I don't want to do this anymore" days. That's so terrible to admit. But it's true! It's how I felt all day. like all parents I want the best for my children, but I love my different little wonder. I like how he is so content with his helicopter in one hand and his tag from his blanket in the other. He likes to squish himself between the window and the couch, who cares! He lays down to inspect wheels of all sorts, who cares. He flaps his ears, who cares!!!! He walks mostly on his tiptoes,seriously who cares!!

He is who HE is so why do I have to put him through hours of speech, occupational, behavioral, and now they mention physical therapy. It's all so much. It's by no means painful or in any way harming him physically but he is emotionally all over the place now. He isn't sleeping well either. He used to sleep ok, not perfect but doable. Now I'm lucky if he takes an hour nap. He wakes up throughout the night again. And the worst is he is getting sick so much. Third cold/fever/ear infection combo in the last 8 weeks. The therapist have all agreed to hand washing and sanitizing but it's not helping.

I'm obviously having a bad day. I'm tired and overwhelmed. I know I have to give him the best possible future and all of the above is part of the plan but I'm so afraid of making a wrong decision. Of course I want him to have communication skills and be on track developmentally but am I changing who he is? This is all so hard and Oh my I'm am so glad MY therapist is back from vacation because I need my hour of pure venting.